Yes, You are Amazing, But There’s Something You Need to Know About That
Dear graduates…
For Benson
Dear graduates,
Our children who
have morphed from diapered babies
to squalling toddlers
to insatiable explorers;
who have built, climbed, danced, played and run
much too fast from birthday cake to birthday cake
to arrive at this day:
this tribute is for you.
We honour you this weekend,
and we stand amazed.
“Amazed” means showing great surprize or wonder.
It means “astonished.”
Perhaps you noticed this
— how astonished we are —
when you stayed up late last week to study
and actually did…
or when you did that honest, hard thing a little while ago and thought we didn’t notice…
or when you opened the door for an older person to go through, then smiled…
or when you walked into the living room
wearing your grad clothes
and we seemed a little at a loss for words
or a lot
because you are stunningly handsome or beautiful or both
and so unbelievably grown up.
Yes, we are amazed by you.
Don’t be tempted to think “Of course”
because it’s that time of year
when people say things
like “amazing” and “wonderful” and
“I’m just so proud of you.”
We all know that graduations
come with that kind of language
like it’s a wrist corsage
or boutonniere
that’s crisp and meaningful for about 3 hours
then flops over when
everyday life sets in again
and things are not quite so astonishing
and people, like parents, not quite as
complimentary.
Still, we are amazed.
But don’t confuse our amazement with
the kind that blurts out
at family dinners when we notice
that you eat the same amount of food
as a small village
or how we’re surprized
by how many pairs of dirty socks
were behind your bed
or how astounding it is that
you can occupy
a bathroom
for that many hours
getting ready
for school or an evening with friends.
Yes, you are amazing.
But it’s not just because
you’re your own brand
of awesome
and because you’ve made it this far,
completing the Ironman
of academics and relationships,
competition and personal endurance that
we call “high school.”
And it isn’t just because you’re so darn good-looking
because you are.
And it isn’t just because of who you know,
what you’ve won, where you’ve been,
how you’ve survived,
or where you’re planning to go next.
You are amazing now
because you always were.
We know, because we were there
when you were an idea —
when having you in our lives
was more important than
a lot of things
that are also important.
We were there when you were born,
an absolute and stunning miracle
of biology and love:
a breathing, feeling, sensing,
brand new being
with more potential than
any universe could hold.
[That’s partly because you were
our universe….]
Raising you,
keeping you safe,
and walking alongside you
for the whole of your life
or as far as the eye could see
was more important
than,
well,
anything.
We were there
when you unfolded or
exploded,
when you stood tall
or curled tight in a ball,
or when you fought for justice
voice quaking
with uncertainty
and conviction;
or when you softly backed away
from a fight
because that’s what
leaders
and peacemakers
sometimes do.
Yes, you are amazing
but you always have been
and always will be.
With grad,
you are a superstar —
but remember this:
your starshine
comes not from spotlights
or gowns
or praise
or diplomas
or awards
or even finishing
but from the
cosmological event
that is you.
Your powerhouse is here (head),
and here (heart)…
in the real you
that we knew
years before
you could
leave a signature on anything.
So, in our awkward middle years as parents
when we try to give advice
or head trouble off at the pass
or take the wheel
or show we care
in the sometimes
stumbling ways
we grown-ups do,
please know
that’s usually
our best shot
at remembering
who you really are
and were
from before Day One…
and the huge privilege
and responsibility
that taking care of you
was and is.
Please forgive us for not
getting things right
at the exact right times
as your childhood
has shot across our sky,
or for not wanting to give you up
to the next sunrise.
Let’s chalk it up
to amateurs…
because amateurs
are people who do things
for love,
even when they
make mistakes,
fall short
or learn the hard way.
Or, you can chalk it up to
the effects of
amazement.
How could we ever have been entrusted
with someone
like you?
Yes, you are amazing
— always have been,
always will be.
And
how amazed we are
that,
for a time,
you were ours.
God bless you on your way,
Class of 2020.
Love,
Your adults
Poet’s note, prior to performing this at Benson’s graduation, June 2019:
A composer I know once told me that there are things that can only be expressed in music.
I feel that way about language — there are times in life when no matter what you say, everyday words don’t do justice to the importance of the moment.
High school graduation might be one of those times.
The thoughts going through parents’ minds as we watch our kids step out of adolescence into adulthood are huge…or guilt-ridden…or sad…or pleased or proud or worried or relieved or hopeful or bewildered (how did this person grow up so fast?)…or all of the above.
Poetry helps me sort things like that out. Really, it’s word music…and some things run so deep that maybe they can only be expressed in poetry.
The style of this poem is known as spoken word poetry, or slam poetry. It’s a little different than a traditional poem or recitation. For one thing, it only has subtle rhymes — no couplets or metered stanzas.
Slam poetry is also interactive. If you hear a thought you agree with, you’re invited to snap your fingers, like applause.
If you want, though, you can just sit back and listen, and think, and remember. This slam poem is a lot about remembering.
Last word: You are welcome to borrow this poem to share with your school community or graduating person. I would love it if you would include my name, Heather Burton, and when people ask, tell them you found it on Medium.com/@Heatherby.
